Stop wearing so much black: make like Funny Face and think pink. Photograph: Everett Collection/Rex Features
New year, new me! What should my fashion resolutions for 2014 be?
MB, by email
"New year, new me"? Are you actually a person, MB, or some kind of an automated newspaper headline generator that spews out, spambot-like, phrases such as "exclusive access", "explosive interview" and, indeed, "new year, new me"? Or maybe you have made the rookie Christmas error of self-lobotomising through an overdose of roast potatoes and over-analysis of Sherlock Holmes. Whichever it be, look to yourself, MB, and set yourself a-right, I beg of you.
As to your question, the first thing I would advocate is to not care a fig about what this year's – or any year's – trends are. Deciding to wear something simply because it is – to use the current if grammatically nonsensical lingo – "on trend" has done no one a bit of good, ever. As has been discussed on this page many, many times before (not everyone is so concerned with being "new" in the new year, MB), the only use a trend serves is to introduce you to styles you may have never considered before but might like. In other words, trends are mere dishes laid out on the fashion buffet and you help yourself to the one you fancy and wrinkle your nose at those that make you gag. But make sure that you really truly like that trend that you partake of, because the big problem with trends is that everyone wears them, and by "everyone" I mean "people who willingly appear on reality TV shows'". I apologise, I appreciate I'm being a massive snob here, and it's quite something to affect snobbery when I have spent my holiday season mainlining stale chocolate and watching Three Men and a Baby, twice. But while Steve Guttenberg films are a grievously underappreciated film genre, people on reality TV shows deserve a bit of mockery, if only to help them understand the difference between "being talked about on the internet" and "having a life". But the point is, if you do like a trend you'd better like it a lot, because just two months after you fork out for a skirt with an "on-trend" peplum from Whistles, the woman who comes third on The Apprentice will be wearing the same damn skirt and you'll have no choice but to give yours to Oxfam. You see? Trends – bad news, my friends.
Your next fashion resolution is to only wear things you actually like – not because they're safe, not because they cover up a part of your body someone once told you was fat, not because you think you won't be mocked in them, not because they make you invisible, not because you always have done and not because you think you "should", for vague and unspecified reasons. It's one thing to fall into a fashion rut, it's another to fall into one out of insecurity, lack of confidence and self-doubt. Be kind to yourself and have fun with your clothes! Always fancied biker boots but worried you might be too old? Get biking, lady! Like the look of a pink dress but feel safer in black? Make like Funny Face and think pink (and, hot tip: black does not make you invisible; it makes you look a bit goth.) Life is there to be enjoyed, people, not to self-efface. I'm not advocating you go bungee jumping, but for heaven's sake, stop wearing so much black.
Next, deal with your fallback item in your wardrobe – you know, the garment you wear unthinkingly when you can't be bothered to put together an outfit in the morning. You probably wear it three times a week, definitely on Sundays. Remember the black miniskirt Bridget Jones takes out of her laundry basket to wear to the office when she's hungover? That's the kind of thing I'm thinking about. Now take that garment and get rid of it. I know it's painful but it's for your own good and it will encourage you to put together more new outfits in your wardrobe, which is always pleasing. And look, it's all misshapen and threadbare as you wear it too often, so it's not even nice any more. Send it to Oxfam with your Whistles peplum dress.
Finally, get out of that makeup rut and give yourself a break about accessories. Everyone gets in a makeup rut, reaching for the same pot of eyeshadow, the same lipstick, night out after night out. Heave yourself out, now. Never tried blue eyeshadow before? Do it, it's jolly (I advocate Topshop's Eye Duo in Solstice or Nars' Mad Mad World). Always secretly liked the idea of liquid eyeliner, but worried you might be too old/inept? Grab yourself a pen (try Rimmel's Glam Eyes Liquid Eyeliner or Charlotte Tilbury's Quick Fine Line Shodo Pen). Similarly, don't be scared of what people might think if you suddenly start sporting some jazzy accessories, such as a feathered alice band or a giant diamante brooch. For heavens' sake, have you seen the weather? We should all grab pleasure where we can. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, and all that. But more importantly, have fun and wear things that give you pleasure. That's what fashion should be, this year and every year.
Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@theguardian.com
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